The Queen's Island

The Queen's Island
by Jack Rider


It seemed simple enough. I had actually set out to find an uninhabited, tropical, or sub-tropical island, where I could just haul my boat up on the beach, and relax for a couple of weeks, and be king of all I surveyed. Easy enough, Right? Wait'll you hear.
Oh, yeah, I checked the charts, looked over every speck of ocean from the North Atlantic to the South Pacific. Couple of lakes and inland seas as well. Finally came up with a place where there were a lot of little specs near Bermuda. Right Bermuda. You'd think I'd be a little careful about going into the so-called Bermuda triangle, wuldn't you? Not old Dave. Not me.
So I packed the sloop and headed south, then east. Couple of days out, no problem. the skies were clear, and there was a good breeze to move the boat. In the distance I saw one of the little islands on my list. Just about then a black wall of clouds started to build up on the horizon, so I hauled down my sails and started to secure everything. I mean, I'm not a total dunce. That was a real storm coming my way and I was going to have to ride it out.
She was a dilly. Big seas, wind up to gale force and the instruments were making everything but sense. I don't know if you've ever been in a storm at sea, but it's no fun. Even if your craft holds together, you take one hell of a beating. This one went on for about three hours, and there were some noises up on deck that scared me to death. Stuff loose. Stuff banging around. The winds started to ease off a little, but just as I was cracking the hatch open I heard the unmistakable crunching sound of my boat going aground.
I picked myself up off the cabin sole and stuck my head out. Oh yeah, I was aground all right, and from the angle she was resting, I could tell that my keel wasn't exactly in the shape it had been when I set sail. The fact that the upper third of the mast was hanging from it's own standing rigging confirmed my worst fears. The boat wasn't going anywhere for a long time.
So what next? I was pretty banged up myself, but nothing broken, as far as I could tell. The shore I had come up on was pretty smooth. Some rocks, one in particular poking into my hull, but mostly pebbles and sand.
It was early afternoon now, and the storm was beginning to roll on out, looking for some other poor sucker in a boat. I pulled on a pair of shorts and walked up the beach to see what I could see. What the hell, this was going to be home for a while, I thought, better check it out.
Something felt a liitle out of place, though. I've been on a lot of these little islands, and generally you can tell when a place is built up, just by the feel of it. Two steps into the woods, and you'd be able to see houses, or something. You can feel it.
Well this place didn't feel built up, exactly. Didn't have a raw nature feel, either.
What I did feel was something watching me. Or someone. As I moved into the grove of trees that edged the beach, I could hear footsteps. One, or two, then quiet again.
I kept on exploring, but the hair on the back of my neck was up, for sure. I just hoped that whoever or whatever it was didn't plan on having me for dinner that night.
Suddenly, I saw something that stopped me cold. There in a clearing some distance away was a little girl with only one leg, not a stitch on, just staring at me. She was dark tan, but had light hair. As I watched, she turned and hopped away into the bushes.
Well, That was pretty weird, I thought. Must be some family camping, and they have a disabled daughter. Something like that. So I started up again in the same direction. Figured if there's a family there, maybe they have a radio or something...or a boat.
After another ten minutes or so I still didn't see anyone, but I had the feeling there was someone behind me. So I turned around. Oh, yeah there was someone behind me.
Two women froze in their steps. Two totally naked women, one carrying a kind of walking stick that served as a crutch. She too was missing a leg. Her partner couldn't carry anything. She had no arms.
Now I really was starting to get the chills. What the hell kind of place had I landed in? I just stood where I was and looked at the women. Their full tan told me that they were accustomed to going without clothes, and their features and hair color said northern Europe or North America. Maybe Australia. As I watched, they turned to each other and were clearly discussing their situation and mine. Eventually they turned back to me, and called out:
"Hello...do you speak English? Oder Deutsch? Francais?"
With some hesitancy I called back, "Yes, English...some of the others, but I'm from the US. My boat..."
"We know about your boat," the one with the stick said, with a slight Celtic accent. "Why have you come here?"
"It wasn't exactly my decision," I offered.
"You were heading directly for this island when the storm struck you. We have lookouts," said the armless one, as they came closer to me. Her accent sounded more Scandinavian. Her hair was quite light as well.
"I apologize if I've landed on private property," I said, "As soon as I can make repairs, I'll be on my way."
"Do you mean to do us no harm?" asked the one with the stick. She had dark hair, but blue eyes, and aside from her missing leg, had a very nice figure. I guessed her age to be about twenty-five or so.
They were now just arms length away. Two very attractive naked women asking me if I meant them no harm.
"Certainly not," I replied. "Fact is, I was hoping this island would be uninhabited, so that I might spend a week or two just relaxing in seclusion. Again, I apologize if I've landed on private property."
They moved a short distance away, and began to discuss the circumstances in hushed, but clearly worried tones.
I thought it best to stay put. I was sure I was in for a very peculiar experience, but in any case, I didn't want to make my situation any worse than it was.
As their duscussions continued, a runner came dashing through the brush. I suppose you could call a one-legged woman hopping along at breakneck speed a runner.
She was younger than the other two, and had very blond hair flying out behind her bronzed body. She too was buck naked, and I noticed that her right arm ended just below the elbow. She chatted breathlessly, but intensely with the first two, pointing back in the general direction fro which she had come.
The pattern that was emerging here was both intriguing and at the same time very disconcerting.
The three turned and looked at me.
"It has been decided to take you to the meeting-place. The Queen will speak to you."
I was accompanied through the brush to a clearing. Here a population, made up solely of women of varying ages, was going about everyday tasks. That was remarkable enough. The fact that there was not one stitch of clothing to be seen anywhere, even for decoration seemed most peculiar in a whole community comprised of entirely of women.
Added to this incongruity was the fact that each of the women and girls was missing at least the major portion of a limb. Many had two or more parts missing, yet they moved about with apparent ease, exchanging goods from their baskets or carrying things about, moving in and out of small rustic cottages spaced along the perimeter of the clearing. At least they were moving until they caught sight of the trio and me. Then the stood stock still and stared. Total silence, save for the nattering of a few birds high in the sheltering treetops.
A large spacious building had been erected of stone and wood at one end of the clearing. A stairway of carefully fitted stone led to a large open interior, where sunlight filtered through stone openwork. The craftsmanship was altogether remarkable, given that it had all been created just from the materials available on the island.
As we moved near the top step, two young and remarkably fit looking women moved to flank the entrance to the hall. Each was completely missing her left arm, carrying a tall staff in her right hand. As we grew closer I saw that they were wearing bands of braided grasses on their bald heads. That was, of course, all they wore, revealing that they bore no body hair of any sort.
We moved past the center of the hall in complete silence, save for the hopping footsteps of the blond runner and of the brunette who had left her walking stick at the base ofthe stairs.
Quite suddenly a shaft of light appeared in front of us. Up a short flight of steps, a door had been opened and two more shaven women moved to each side of it. This pair had only short nubs at each elbow and each girl held a small, exotically decorated staff across her body.
Then into the doorway, quite slowly, moved the silhouette of what appeared to be a woman whose entire being consisted only of the trunk, neck and head. The outline of the head showed it was wearing a crown of some sort.
"You are a male," her quiet but commanding voice said, "is that correct?"
"That is correct, your..."
"Highness!" whispered the blonde with no arms.
"Your Highness," I replied, my throat suddenly quite dry.
"Come foreward, male! You guardians and you, runner, remain below. You may return to your duties."
The three bowed, turned and silently left the hall.
Slowly I mounted the steps toward the open doorway. When I was halfway there, the crowned figure turned and moved itself back into the area beyond the door. I continued up the steps until I reached the door. Inside I could see a room, appointed to the highest degree that the materials and craftswomanship available could have created, sunlight bathing the chamber in gold.
"Come within," the voice said, "and close the door."
I entered, eyes cast downward and closed the beautifully fitted door. I turned. Before me was the oddest sight I had ever seen. There, balanced upright on a totally legless and bald pelvis stood the Queen. She wore a crown indeed, on her neat bald head, and although completely armless with quite narrow shoulders, had what under other circumstances would have been considered a very good figure. Her eyes and mouth had been done with what I assumed were local materials, and as I looked down at her, I realized that this woman of perhaps thirty-five or so years, was looking up at me, and she smiled. Slowly her eyes travelled over my face and body. She rocked slightly to and fro, as if keeping her balance required constant attention.
"Male. Yes indeed you are."
I had not the foggiest idea of what to say, and so remained silent.
"Follow me," she said, now with a little twinkle in her eye. She moved slowly, one hip at a time, to the far end of the room. Then she moved onto a kind of quilt that lay on the floor. She positioned herself, then looked at me again.
"What's your name?"
Her voice was pure middle American. The tone of authority had been replaced by one of confidentiality.
"Dave...David Johnson," I said.
"Well, Dave, I guess you'll have to do."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Oh don't worry," she laughed, "Wait'll you hear what I've got to say."
She leaned back against the wall of what I now understood to be her bedroom.
"Dave, It's going to take a lot of explaining, but I set this place up about ten years ago, and It's been working out for me pretty well. Hey, hang my crown up over there on that rack will you? Thanks."
My head was really spinning about now. What the hell was this bald basketcase of a naked woman talking about? Well, anyhow, I hung up her crown and sat down on the quilt.
"In ten years," she began, "you're the first thing with pecker and balls to come onto this island. That was the deal when I set the place up. No men. I'd really had it with guys pawing me all over, so that was one of the rules. Hey, you must be thirsty...ALTHEA!"
A small voice answered from somewhere beyond a side door.
"Yes, your highness?"
"You may bring us two fruit drinks, Althea. My special preparation, please."
"Yes, your highness.
"Cute kid, Althea. I get 'em from all over. Kids that were either born with out some stuff, the way I was, or who lost 'em in an accident or some such thing. Figure they need a safe place to grow up and be happy with their bodies. That's why the no clothes thing. I figure if you really want to be happy with your body you arn't going to be hiding it or disguisin' it with some kind of phoney costume. Works hand in hand with the missing arms and legs bit. The deal is if you're going to be happy with it, then accept what you got, and it don't matter who knows what ya got or don't got. Sorta like that bunch, the Naturists or whatever they call themselves.
"Your drinks, your highness" said Althea from outside the door.
"Let her in, Dave, will you? She's got her arms full."
I went to the side door and opened it. Althea, a red haired teen-ager, her arm stumps holding a tray with two large bowls on it, stared at me, her eyes growing bigger and bigger. Finally she stepped into the room on her knees, since her legs ended just below that point.
"Thank you, Althea, that will be all."
I took the tray from her trembling arms, and she just stood there, staring at me.
"This is the male whose boat ran aground on our Island, Althea. I intend to keep him here until I am assured that he will do us no harm. Thank you."
"Yes, ma'm," said Althea, and left, pulling the door closed with the tips of her arms.
"See now, take her for example. When she was four, her folks thought they'd teach her a lesson for some stupid thing she'd done, and locked her in the barn all night. Well, she developed frostbite that they refused to treat, and the results are what you just saw. Not too great, but she's coming along. I got another couple of fragile kids I keep close, here, too."
I put the tray down on the quilt in front of 'Her Highness'.
"Hey, you ready for show time?"
"I'm a little confused," I confessed. Boy, was I confused.
"Oh, that's left over from the old days. Here, put one of those straws in a bowl and hand it to me. Rigfht, just hold it up right in front of me. Good. These boobies aren't as perky as they were when I was working in the Shaw's Carnival, but I can still hold a drink up!"
And with that she pressed her chest against the bowl, then leaned back, the drink suspended between her breasts. She started to sip her drink through the straw.
"I guess you never saw Shaw's Carnival, did you?"
I shook my head, and started to sip what tasted very much like a Mai Tai.
"Well, I guess I'd better begin there, 'cause that's how this whole thing started," she said.
"That would be nice," I said, slowly beginning to piece together her explanation.
"I'm sorry, Dave, she said. "I've been doing this Queen thing for so long I've begun to believe it myself."
I looked over at the limbless little woman holding a bowl of fruit punch between her boobs and just smiled.

"First of all, my name's Elizabeth Connors. They used to bill me as Bitsy, the Limbless Wonder Girl. Itsy Bitsy, the talker would call me The Living Torso. My folks got me the job."
She sipped on her straw again. "Job, hell! They sold me to the carnival is what they did. I never saw them after that. I was sixteen and they claimed I was twenty one, and they got this contract and disappeared off the face of the earth. So there I was, doing two shows in the afternoon and one or two at night, depending on the take."
"Elizabeth, it's taking me a little while to put this all together, but it's starting to make sense. Now, how did you get from a traveling carnival show to be queen of this island?"
"Well the show manager was a real slimeball. Everyone knew it. All the other acts went along because they were making better money than they could anywhere else. I wasn't making anthing but room and board because of the deal my folks had made. Hell, I was just a kid, what did I know. I gave good shows, too. After the bally all the marks, you know, the crowd would come in to the tent and the talker Bryan, he would go into his routine. First there was Harry the guy who put nails and stuff in his body or up his nose or something, then Sally, the bearded lady. She's nice If you ever run into her say hello for me. We shared a trailer and she used to help me get dressed for the shows. Otherwise I ran around bare-assed. Just a lot easier.
So anyhow, then there was the kid who did the fire act. He always scared me because if the place ever caught on fire, I knew I couldn't run fast enough to get out of the tent. Lotta stuff I can't do, but so what, right? Well then after the fire act came yours truly. Winter times I wore a little velvet outfit and summers a cotton jumper or some kinda little outfit, usually with sequins and rhinestones. A girl who ran one of the cotton candy stands used to make my outfits. She was nice, too. So I'd be sitting there or standing there, take your pick, on a kind of big table with my eyes closed, real still, like I was a statue, right? Then Bryan would talk about how I was a store mannikin that he could miraculously bring to life. Then he'd say some mumbo jumbo and snap his fingers and I'd open my eyes and start doin' my stuff. I waddled over to a easel and took a big marker in my mouth and did cartoons of some of the acts, and if there was some interesting looking mark I'd do him or her too. Then I had this tumbling thing I could do, where I tipped over foreward, tucked up real tight rolled foreward and most of the time ended up right side up again. I always acted like I was going to lose my balance and flop over, too. That was always a big hit.
Then Bryan Would do a come-on for the follow up. That's where for a buck more, people could come into the back tent and see me do stuff with my little jugs. "Course I couldn't do much more than wag them around and maybe hold a drink or something, but what the hell, it was part of the job, and it was everyday stuff for me."
"And that's what you did from the time you were sixteen?" I asked.
"Pretty much. Couple of months each winter we'd hangout in Florida, but I liked being on the road, better."
"You were starting to tell me how you got out here to this island."
Oh, yeah, right. So this slime ball of a manager used to have me entertain, if you want to call it that, some of the local politicians or big money guys in the towns we'd hit. Fill his pockets a little fuller, and keep us from getting closed down, right? Well, that really shouldn't have been part of any kid's job. No joke. Some of these guys were OK, I guess, but a lot of them were fat slobs who smelled bad and tried to put their peckers in the damndest places. Bad enough I had to screw these pigs but, oh hell, you get the picture." She looked down at the quilt before her, and at the part of her body that had borne such abuse
She told me more. The picture she painted was brilliant, vivid and horrifying.
"Elizabeth, if you don't want to tell me any more, just stop. I understand."
"No, it's OK," she said. I haven't ever told anybody the whole story before, and it's good to get it out." She shivered slightly, and I somewhat reflexively put my arm around her narrow shoulders. She was quiet for a moment then turned her blue-gray eyes to mine.
"Oh, that feels good. I never thought I'd be able to stand a man touching me ever again, but Dave, it really feels so good."
She moved closer to me, touching my chest with hers.
"It's OK," I said.
"Thank you. Just...thank you. Well, anyhow Dave, that went on for eight...I guess nine years and so what finally happened was that one night a woman in a wheelchair was at the show, and she came to the follow-up. Hey, you'd be surprised how many women came to the follow up. Anyhow she shows up, and then sticks around. She's got this briefcase and all, and starts to ask me what kind of contract I had or if I was free-lance or whatever. The manager had split for the night, so I figured I'd talk to this woman, right?"
"And?"
"Turns out she's a lawyer for some activist outfit based in Washington, and she gets a law suit started that nails the manager and owners really big time. They were some big conglomerate, so they were good for the money, Right? Hit 'em hard. Not only for my physical and emotional abuse, but it turns out that my folks contract had only been for a year, and he owed me all the back pay as well!"
"So you retired from show business and bought this island?" I asked."
"Honey, you don't ever retire from show business!"
She drew herself up to her full height and threw back her head .
"I changed my billing from Itsy Bitsy to... Ta Dah...The Queen! It's all show biz, baby, all show biz.. But it's doing these girls a world of good."
She snuggled into my arms again and was quiet.
"So all the money went into the island?"
"Yep. I set up a trust fund so it keeps coming in. I put in a water plant and there's sewage, and we have a doctor in residence...Wait'll you meet her! Oh hey," she interrupted herself, "You know what? I think we'd better get you cleaned up before we go any further."
She moved from my grasp to a plaited grass cord that ran up the wall an disappeared over a roller. She hunched her tiny shoulders and appeared to be trying to grasp the cord with her chest, but without success.
"Fukkit," she mumbled, and bit into the cord, pulling it vigerously. A large bell sounded somewhere below us. A moment later a there was a knock at the side door.
"You may enter," spoke The Queen, returning to her quilt.
The door opened and a pair of blue eyed young women took one step into the room, and stood at attention. They were completely shaven except for a tassel of blond hair at the nape of their necks They each had but one stump of an arm that ended just below the elbow. On this little arm each girl wore a circlet of plaited vines.
"We have decided to retain the male whose boat came ashore here," The Queen said to the girls. "It may be that he can be useful. Therefore, prepare a bath for him, and see that he is made clean and acceptable. You will observe that It is not his custom to shave his hair, but in all other respects you may bathe him in the manner reserved for our upper eschelon. Be cautious when bathing his distinguishing features. You will find them interesting and unusual, but do not spend too much time in their inspection. When he is clean, return him to my chamber and send the food mistress."
"Yes, milady," answered the two blondes, and they hooked their little arm nubs around my arms, and led me through a narrow passageway of stone. I could smell smoke here, and somewhere there was water running. As we came around a corner I saw a small fireplace where stone bowls of water were warming. Passing the fireplace we entered the main chamber where several women of varying ages were lolling in a large pool. When they saw the three of us, they suddenly jumped to their feet, those that had feet, and began giggling and pointing at me.
"This is the male from the boat," one of the blondes said, with a distinctly Scandinavian accent. We get to wash him. What do you think, ladies?"
"Oh what fun!" said one.
"Take off his covering," said a little brunette without any legs. "I haven't seen a male since I was very small. I can't remember anything about them."
"I don't think I've ever seen one, said a young redhead with one arm and one leg.
"I was just a baby when I was brought here," said a child with short stumps for all of her limbs. "I have only just heard about them."
In seconds my shorts were removed, and I was paraded before the group. Of course there was nothing I could do to keep my reaction from becoming all too obvious.
"Ooh, look at it!!" said the child, pointing one of her little stumps at my growing member.
"I am, I am," said one.
"I've heard they can make it do tricks," said the redhead.
"Make it do something!" called out the legless brunette, "let's see, let's see!"
Giggles and laughter filled the room.
"Control yourselves, ladies," shouted one of the blondes who had brought me into the room Her majesty has asked us to bathe him, not use him as a plaything."
As I watched, a different, smaller pool was made ready. Warm water was poured and
something sweet smelling added.
With all eyes on me, I was escorted to the smaller pool and one blonde pointed her nub of an arm at the water.
"You must get in the tub, now, male."
I stepped down into the warm water and almost immediatly felt soothed and relieved. At least some of my embarassment was under water.
Warm water was poured on my shoulders and a gentle lather was applied to my head.

A new voice came from the doorway.
"I have heard that you are washing the male," she said, with a accent that I associated with Russia, or one of her neighboring states. I looked in the direction of the voice to see a tall, even stately woman, completely shaven, without arms or even shoulders, standing on one shapely leg.
"Yes, Tanya," said the redhead, come and help!"
"That could be entertaining," said Tanya, and started to hop. Mother nature had apparently compensated this armless, one-legged creature with great generosity when it came to her womanly endowments, and that big pair was bouncing every which way as she hopped over to the tub.
"Be quiet, now, male and we will make you clean and beautiful," said one of the girls who had escorted me into the bath. She reached into a large wooden bowl and lifted a sponge in the crease of her little elbow. First she, than the others joined in, sponging my head, neck, shoulders, arms and chest.
"I want to do his...his..what is that thing called?" said the girl with no legs.
"I think Tanya should have the honor," said the other blonde.
"No, said Tanya, "let us all take turns. If you wish, I will begin, but each one can have the experience."
And so it was. Each hand, elbow or foot caressed my poor brave member, standing as tall as ever it could, finally wilting as the last spongeful of soapy water was applied.
"Oh, look, it's fainting," said the child. "What's wrong with it?"
"It is only tired," said Tanya. "I have seen this before. It will recover." "Finish his legs and feet, now," said the first blonde. "It is time to return him to Her Highness."
And so I was dried and returned, squeeky clean and naked as a jaybird, to Her Highness. The two escorts bowed and closed the door as they withdrew.
"So whattaya think, sport?" she said, leaning back against the wall with a big grin on her face. "They give you a pretty good goin' over?"
"In more ways than one, Elizabeth," I said, "More ways than one."
"They're pretty good kids, actually," she laughed. "They treat you right?"
"Well I'm clean, and nothing missing except my vanity," I said.
"That's one thing we don't need around here, so you won't miss it," she said. She was smiling, but at the same time I knew what she meant. "Hungry?"
"As a bear."
"Good. I told the food mistress to get the girls together and make us a banquet."
"Banquet?"
"Yeah. They didn't know what I was talking about, so I sort of gave 'em some thoughts."
"Elizabeth," I said, sitting down on one corner of the quilt, "all this is not only starting to make sense, but, dammit, I really am beginning to enjoy it."
"How about that!" she chortled, as she wobbled her way toward the side door. "Grab the door for me willya, Dave? I'm going to grab a quick bath and shave before dinner ."
I sent her off down the hall, and I heard a call of 'make way for the queen' as I closed the door. I stretched out and was completely relaxed for the first time since the storm hit the boat. Maybe fifteen minutes later, the side door opened and the legless brunette ushered my hostess back into her chambers.
"Thank you, Alicia," she said. "I enjoy walking with you."
Alicia stretching to reach the knob, closed the door as she left.
Elizabeth wobbled over to where I was stretched out and toppled down beside me. She smelled sweet and wonderful.
"I think dinner's almost ready," she said. "I guess I should get dressed."
"Dressed?"
"Oh yeah. Gotta dress for a banquet. Get me my crown, willya?"
And so, carefully crowned, the very attractively nude Queen wiggled and wobbled her way down a ramp beside the steps, and I followed a discreet few paces behind.
The torches were now lit, and some voices sang in sweet harmony. Food of every description filled a long table, and once the Queen was seated, I was directed to the far end of the table, and six of the less limited girls filled our plates.
The shaven contingent sat next to the queen, and two young girls with only tiny stumps of legs and no arms scrambled onto the benches next to me, chattering merrily.
"Quiet, please," said a voice from the far end of the table. "The Queen will address you."
"Good evening, my friends," she began. "As you know, we have in our gathering an uninvited guest. He is a male from another world. He is called David. I have had the opportunity to speak with him at some length, and I can tell you with some relief, that he has the potential to be a positive, useful member of our community. He has come here, not of his own volition, but at the hands of a disasterous storm at sea. He will require some training which I shall supervise, but tonight I would ask you to welcome him as a new member of our group. David, will you stand and be recognized?"
Slowly, then more and more quickly and loudly the applause came down the table. The two youngsters next to me bobbed up and down, joining the applause as best they could.
When it subsided, I rose again, and toasted our queen with a cup of excellant wine.
The applause was instant and with torches blazing, the banquet was underway.

I won't go on and on with this tale, except to say now, that Elizabeth and I spent the next two years on the island, queen and consort, if you will, and yes, we did spend that night together in the queen's chambers. She is, by the way, one hell of a lover."
"In fact, if you're ever out our way, now that we're back in the states, come on by.
You'd really like Elizabeth. I guess it's OK to call her Bitsy."
"Just don't call her 'the little woman', OK?"