Dial - An - Amp

 
    DIAL AN AMP DOLLY

ESTABLISH LAS VEGAS. NIGHT COMING ON. LIGHTS AROUND TOWN. PEOPLE COMING AND GOING. QUICK BRIEF CLIPS: POSSIBLY SAK CRUTCHING IN BACKGROUND. MOVE FROM LIGHTS AND GLITZ TO THE HANDS OF VEGAS. HANDS RECEIVING TIPS. HANDS DEALING CARDS. HANDS WAVING. HOLD EACH VIEW POSSIBLY THREE SECONDS ... A FEMALE HAND ON A CRUTCH HANDLE ... OTHER HANDS TOYING WITH OKER CHIPS ... HANDS PLAYING THE SLOT MACHINES ... HANDS HAVING DINNER... HANDS "LOOKING AT MAGAZINES"... HANDS BUYING A "SPORTS ILLUSTRATED" TYPE MAGAZINE... A HAND PASSING OUT A SINGLE SHEET, PINK FLYER. FOCUS ON THE FLIER TO SHOW IT IS HEADLINED "SHOW TIME." A HAND TAKES THE FLYER. NOW WE SEE TWO HANDS HOLDING THE FLYER, STUDYING IT. THEN A HAND OPENING A HOTEL DOOR. HANDS AGAIN "LOOKING" AT THIS AD:
        DIAL AN AMP
THE EXPERIENCE YOU LONG FOR. (702) 169-1588 ASK FOR DOLLYTHE AD IS ILLUSTRATED WITH A TINY LINE DRAWING OF A GIRL SEATED ON THE FLOOR IN SUCH A WAY ONE LEG IS EITHER FOLDED UNDER OR...GONE. A MAN'S HAND REACHES OUT TO DIAL A PHONE. THE HAND QUICK HANGS UP.  THE HAND DOES IT AGAIN AND THEN MOVES TO TURN ON THE TV. AND SUBSEQUENTLY TO UNDO BUTTONS .... BRUSH TEETH AND GO TO BED ... BUT NOT BEFORE CARESSING BOTH PHONE AND AD ONCE MORE.


BILL'S VOICE RUNS UNDER THE INTRO.
BILL:     Vegas ... Ever been to Vegas, Las Vegas? ... There's no other place like it in the world.  It's the City of Pretend where an ordinary guy from Dubuque, or a cabby from New York can pretend to be a millionaire for a long weekend for only  $5,000. You can rent all you need for the illusion.  Rent a Cadillac at the airport to drive downtown and maybe out to Hoover Dam and Lake Powell ... once. You can rent a fake Sago watch. a couple diamond rings. A blonde, if that's your taste. The big deluxe hotel suite.  You can see the top shows, have a hundred dollar dinner and blow another couple hundred at the tables. It's marvelous. Nothing like it in the world. The City of Pretend. People love it. Even people that don't ordinarily pretend, love it. They can do anything and be anything and then go back home and leave it all behind.That's why Vegas is such a big convention town.  People love the extraordinary  availability of anything.I was there for a convention. ... I had another meeting in Los Angeles, an hour away by air, on Monday morning. I saw no reason to fly back to Chicago. to shovel snow and watch the Bears on TV only to turn around two day later and fly all the way back out to LA. So I decided to stay in Vegas for a couple days to relax and enjoy myself.The only problem is that after three days in Glitz-town, a person is pretty well glitzed out. But, regardless, a day or two just lounging around would be a nice break. And, I thought, there must be something besides hoopla in this town. There must be a nice movie or possibly a cultural event of some sort. So. I took the little pink "Talk of the Town" sheet to see what it had to offer. As you'd imagine it contained a collection of nudie bars, 99 cent chicken dinners, second rate casinos, cut rate motels and ..."one little thing that stopped me cold: "Dial an Amp". ... I couldn't believe my eyes. I looked carefully. Sure enough that's what it said "Dial an Amp". What could it possibly mean? ... Do you suppose in this wild. erotic town where anyone can rent anything it is possible that one could actually buy ... ah. rent ... control an encounter with an... uh ... with an amp lady? I would call and find out.


CAMERA PULLS BACK FROM AD TO SHOW A TYPICAL HOLIDAY lNN MOTEL ROOM. THE CALLER, BlLL, IS SEATED IN A SITTING ROOM CHAIR. THE PHONE IS ON THE LAMP TABLE AT HIS ELBOW. HE PICKS UP THE PHONE AND DIALS DIAL-AN-AMP NUMBER. PHONE RINGS ONCE. BILL QUICK HANGS UP.

BILL: (He is talking to himself) This is silly. Why am I ringing this number? It's not going to be real. It will just be embarrassing. Silly. Still it would be wonderful. Wouldn't it be wonderful if it were real? ... A real honest to God amp lady. Wow! We could talk. I could talk about anything. Oh. God. Oh. God make it real.
HE REACHES FOR THE PHONE AGAIN. AND THIS TIME HANGS UP BEFORE IT RINGS.

BILL: (More self-talk) Christ! What am I doing? HE GETS UP TO SHUT OFF THE TV AND THEN TO BED ... BUT NOT BEFORE THINKING
(Self-talk.) Tomorrow. I'll call tomorrow. It's too late tonight. I will call tomorrow. I don't give a shit if it is a complete washout. I'll call tomorrow.

BLANKO, LIGHTS OUT.
MORNING. ARRIVES. THERE IS A SUNRISE. THERE ARE THE MORNING HANDS ... SWEEPING UP THE DEBRIS. CLEANING THE POOL. PULLING ON SHOES. SERVING COFFEE. LOOKING AT WRISTWATCH (8:30) READING THE NEWSPAPER. STROLLING THE STREET. LOOKING AT THE WATCH AGAIN (9:30) . TAKING THE "TOWN TALK" OUT OF A POCKET, LOOKING AT CRITICAL AD AGAIN. LOOKING AT THE WATCH AGAIN (10:00). MORE IDLING AROUND TOWN. PERHAPS JUMPING INTO THE POOL WRIST WATCH (NOW, AT Last; 10:30) BRUSHING TEETH. COMBING HAIR. REACHING FOR THE PHONE. DIALING THE NUMBER. THE PHONE RINGS.

BILL: (Muttering to himself) Why am I so nervous? I'm a big boy. I know my way around the world. I know how to deal with people. She, whoever she is, won't know who I am. She won't chase after me and cause trouble. She wants callers. After all she advertised for callers. I can handle myself. Why am I so nervous. Please, dear God. make it be what I want it to be.

RING... RING... RING.
DOLLY: (Sleepily) Haallo.


DOLLY IS IN BED. AT THIS POINT WE DON'T KNOW SHE'S IN BED. ALL WE SEE. IN PROFILE. IS THE LOWER PART OF HER FACE ... LIPS. CHIN AND THE SPEAKER END OF THE TELEPHONE HANDSET. THAT'S ALL. WE "HIDE" HER FOR A FEW MOMENTS; UNTIL HE AND SHE BEGIN TO TALK ABOUT DOLLY'S "CONFIGURATION." WE DO THAT TO HEIGHTEN THE SUSPENSE OF SEEING HER AS SHE IS.

BILL: I'm calling for Dolly. please. ... Is this Dial an Amp?

DOLLY: (Slowly, still sleepily) Ah ... this is Dolly ... Yes ... Dial an Amp... Yes.

BILL: You sound sleepy. You're in bed. Are you in bed? I'll call back. I can call back.

DOLLY: (Still sleepily) No, it's all right. I can talk. What time is it?

BILL: 10:30 ... AM ... In the morning.

DOLLY: (More normal voice) You got Dial an Amp, a caller paid service. You have one minute to hang up and you don't pay nothin'. After that it's five dollars a minute and it goes on your phone bill. If you're in a hotel, which you probably are,it'll go on your hotel bill and they may want charge you a service charge. I'm Dolly.What's your name old friendly? How you gettin' along?

BILL: My name's Bill And I'm doing all right.

DOLLY: Well, good for you Bill. What are you doin' up so early. Most of my buddies don't check in until later on toward midnight when they're feeling lonely and left out. Then they call up their Dolly baby. You got a sexy voice,Bill."

BILL: What's it mean Dolly? "Amp" as in "Dial an Amp"?

DOLLY: What do you want it to mean Bill? Tell me what you want it to mean.

(PAUSE ... Bill is silent.)
You have the right to remain silent ... but the meter goes on ticking if you are talking or not. (She laughs at her own wit.)

BILL: (Again muttering to himself more than to Dolly, his hand over phone mouthpiece.) Well, what the hell. Let's give it a try and see what happens. The worst that can happen is if she cusses me out and calls me a pervert. Then all I do is hangup. She don't know me from Adam. And there isn't any law against being interested in amp ladies. No law at all. (Back to normal. Into the phone.) Different men like different things, Dolly.

DOLLY: Oh, good, you're back. I thought for a minute you had a heart attack or something. Yes, different men like different things. What do you like. Bill?

BILL: Ever since I was a little boy I have been interested and fascinated by girls ... ladies, who are a little different.

DOLLY: What way different. Bill?

BILL: Well, girls who have been hurt. Injured maybe in an accident or handsome disease or something and who have, well ... ah. lost a limb or so. You know what I mean?

DOLLY: Yes. Bill. I surely do know. Bill. Tell me, honey, what would you
like"Amp" to mean. Bill?

BILL: (Gaining confidence) Well, people who have lost a limb are called "amputees". "Amp" could be an abbreviation for amputee. That's what it could be. I'd be interested in that because, although I have always been interested in amp ladies, I've never actually met one or talked to one or anything. (More to himself than to Dolly) Phew!

DOLLY: Yes, Bill, I understand. There are more guys out there that like what you like than you'd think. I don't understand it for a minute, but I'm willing to go along with it. Yes. Bill, the Amp is short for amputee and, yes Bill. I'm your basic amputee lady.

BILL: Well really! What a wonderful stroke of good fortune. Tell me, what is ...I mean ... what do you have ... what do you look like?

DOLLY: I'm more or less 36, 5 foot 6, 116 pounds, have hair the color of ripened wheat and green eyes like grass. Is that what you mean, honey?

BILL: Yes, fine. But I was thinking of ... ah ... I mean your. ah ... you've lost a limb. What did you loose?

DOLLY: What would you like above all other things, Bill. Tell me and I'll tell you if you are right. No more tease.

BILL: Single not double.
CAMERA THROUGH ALL THE ABOVE ACTION IS TIGHT ON DOLLY'S FACE. NOW CAMERA PANS BACK TO SHOW ONE HAND HOLDING THE PHONE.

DOLLY: That's me! Very good, single. One's enough. Now, above or below the waist?

BILL: I really like below ... a leg situation. But I might pretend to guess wrong hoping it will turn out right.

DOLLY: Bill. honey, you're a handsome devil but crazy. I won't tell, you gotta guess.

BILL: Below. Single below the waist.
CAMERA PANS BACK TO SHOW DOLLY SITTING IN BED. WE SEE HER HOLDING THE PHONE ONE HAND IN HER LAP. WE SEE BOTH ARMS BUT NOT HER BELOW WAIST YET.

DOLLY: Bill, you are marvelous! Now, left or right? Above or below knee?

BILL: Right, above knee about halfway to the hip.

CAMERA PANS BACK TO SHOW HER FULL LENGTH FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE SEQUENCE EXCEPT WHEN THEY ARE TALKING SPECIFIC ANATOMY. THEN THE CAMERA FOCUSES ON WHATEVER THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT.

DOLLY: Close, sweetheart, but not 100%. It is the left that's off. You knew didn't you , you were just guessing wrong to be right weren't you?

PAN BACK TO SHOW HER IN BED. THE COVERS SLUMP DOWN OUTLINING THE STUMP OF HER AMPUTATED LEFT LEG.

BILL: Yes. right! How did you know?

DOLLY: I know, honey. I know how you operate.

BILL: Oh, God, this is marvelous. Do you really and truly have a leg off. Oh, God. Tell me everything. How did you lose it. what's it look like. How do you roller skate? Tell me everything.

DOLLY: I really got a leg off. I don't roller skate. I stepped on a land mine in Kuwait and got it blowed off.

BILL: No! That's bullshit! There weren't any 36 year old Green Berets in the Gulf War. Dolly, you're a phony and you're just pulling my leg ... pardon the pun. I'm beginning to wonder if you are even one legged.

DOLLY: I am that honey. We may be joking around a little bit for the fun of it but one legged I am. That I guarantee. That thing is gone ... off ... nothin' but a little scarred rounded stumpy thing. A motorcycle did it. Too fast on a slow curve and into a pickup coming the other way. Blap! One leg. The man that made my artificial leg said motorcycles send him almost as many customers as cancer. So, I got one leg. Ask me anything.

BILL: What does it look like, your stump leg, what does it look like?

DOLLY: Well first of all it's green ... No! Wait! ... I'm  sorry. I'm just feeling a little nutty, that's all. Honey, you bring out the wild woman in me. My stump ... (She  pronounces it with a full round sound) is about a hand span long ... BILL: God, I love the sound of that word. Say it again.

DOLLY: Stump, hun. Do you like my stump? Look at my stump. Oh, hun, look what they did to my leg. They cut it off, hun. They cut off my leg. All's I got left on that side is this little stump thing.

BILL: Oh. God. I love it I love it. What did you think when you first saw it? What did you think?

DOLLY: Oh. God, I thought ... Oh God, how am I goin' to get around with this little stumpy thing and I flopped it around and it hurt. And when I stood up on crutches and flopped it around and there wasn't nothin' there any more. It just flopped around and it didn't do anything, nothin' except flop around and that's when I realized I was one legged and I didn't have no leg there any more. It was gone and that's the way it was going to be from then on. And that's the way it is now.

BILL: What's it look like, Dolly. What's it look like. Is it nice looking?

DOLLY: My stump is nice and round but it has all sorts of scars on the end and running up the outside because the accident really mashed my leg and tore it up something bad.
HER HAND LEFT HAND WANDERS DOWN THE LEFT SIDE OF THE STUMP AND MOVES UP AND DOWN.
It's more reddish than my good leg because I mostly wear an artificial leg when I am up and around and that chafes and does make the skin kinda raw, but not bad. ... It's hard to describe the shape because it changes depending on what I am doing. Lying in bed here with you like now it's like flatish and rounded but if I stick it straight up in the air like this ... SHE HOLDS HER STUMP STRAIGHT UP.... it is more pointed. There's a bone in there and the meat hangs down from the end of the bone. See?

BILL: I don't see a thing. I mean in my mind I see, but otherwise, God, I wish I was there with you.

DOLLY: Oh, so do I Bill. You sound like such a hunk.

BILL: Stop that shit. Tell me more about how your stump changes shape.
DURING THE FOLLOWING GENERAL DIALOG DOLLY IS FLOPPING HER
STUMP UP AND DOWN AND CARESSING IT WITH HER HAND.

DOLLY: When I stand up, hun, the flesh hangs down around the bone and it's loose and flabby. It flops around. All the muscles have gone to flab because they don't have nothin' to do any more cause the leg that they worked is gone. When I'm crutch walkin' it just hangs there. Sometimes I flop it around. But you have to be careful if you flop it around in public. It attracts all sorts of looks.

BILL: Do people stare?

DOLLY: Oh sure. They gotta take a look at the one legged girl. Not when I'm on my limb ... but even then some too. But when I'm out on crutches because my stump hurts or I don't feel like clumping around on the artificial leg. They look. But I don't pay no mind. Except kids sometimes come up. Boys mostly want to look under my skirt, if I have a skirt on. (Laughs) I want to poke 'em in the eye with a crutch. I mostly just shoo 'em off. Sometimes I let 'em look. Future customers, ya know.

BILL: (Weak laughter) You have to build for the future trade. ... Where did you get the idea to do this? It's really great talking to you. I love it.

DOLLY: I met this guy on the strip. He came up and started talking. Really nice guy- Took me to dinner. He told me there are all sorts of guys like you, who get revved up by one leg girls. He told me I should put an ad in the "Talk." He helped me get set up and even paid for a couple ads. It worked out O.K. Lots of nice talks with sexy guys like you, hun.

BILL: I love it. God, I love talking to you. Tell me, when you're out on crutches do you wear a skirt more than slacks? How about shorts? Do you ever wear shorts?

DOLLY: I like to wear a skirt when I'm out on crutches. Mid length, not too long, not above knee. It's a little more inconspicuous. I don't like to be conspicuous. The crutches are conspicuous enough. I don't usually wear slacks with my crutches. Sometimes. But usually not. I wear slacks with the limb usually. It looks better. And shorts no. Never outside the house. I wear them around the house. Not outside. I don't want my stump hanging out all over the place. You'd like that though, wouldn't you?

BILL: Oh God, I'd crawl through broken glass to see it. What are you wearing now, Dolly? What do you have on now?

DOLLY: I'm naked as a jay bird except for my long golden hair which hangs down to my belly button to cover my great huge bosoms.

BILL: You lie. Dolly, you lie! The whole business is, is probably one great big made up lie. Dolly, how could you be so cruel to the man who loves and adores you?

DOLLY: (Giggles) What was the question? Will I go to bed with you ... I am in bed with you. ... No!. What do I have on? I have on a big oversize like T-shirt which says on the front "I LOVE MY AMP BABY." It was a gift from one of my most ardent admirers ... me! (More giggles) Bill, you handsome dog, you bring out the wild woman in me. (Slight pause then quietly) Bill, I am running my fingers down over my stump around the end, along the scar.

BILL: Oh, God ... Dolly. Oh God, how I could see you. What's it like? What's it feel like, Dolly. to have a leg off!

DOLLY: It feels good, hun. it's soft and smooth and nicely rounded. I love to run my hand around the end of it to feel it. I'm doing that now, hun. I'm running my hand around the end of my stump. It's cool. It feels good. I love it. I love it when a guy feels it. I can really get in to that. I really love it when he runs his hand around my stump and I can feel his hand on my stump. I love it. (OF COURSE DOLLY IS JUST RUNNING UP THE TIME CHARGES WITH THIS BLATHER, BUT ALL THE WHILE THAT SHE IS TALKING SHE IS CARESSING HER
STUMP. SO THERE IS SOME PARTICIPATION ON HER PART.) It's sort of a sexy thing. When I'm lying in with a guy and he feels my stump it sexes me up. It's a sexy feeling, hun.

BILL: I gotta see you. I can't stand it, Dolly. I gotta meet and see you. Just once, then I'll be off and you'll never see me again ever.

DOLLY: Oh, hun. I can't do that. It's against the rules.

BILL: Rules? What rules? You're an independent business lady. You don't have any more rules than those you set for yourself. Let's have lunch. I'll buy a nice lunch in a public place and there won't be any hanky-panky ... you know that anyway. Us guys are sweet, straight arrow wonderful boys. Do it sweet baby. You have to have breakfast somewhere. Have it on me ... with me. You'll love it and so will I ... You know it is blessed to give and bring joy.

DOLLY: (Giggles ) O.K. you sexy hunk. I'm putty in your hands. Nice lunch. High tone place. No Mickey-Mac.

BILL: Oh. wonderful. Thank you. Thank you Thank you. But sweet baby. Make me the happiest. On crutches. Nice skirt. Meet me at twelve-thirty front door of Caesar's. I'll be there. Don't pay any attention to anyone but Big Bill from Chicago.

DOLLY: I'll be there you smooth talker.

BILL: Bye-bye sweet baby. (HANGS UP) (He shouts out loud) I've died and gone to heaven!

WE SEE BILL STAND AND STRETCH OUT HIS ARMS IN EXUBERANCE AND STROLL TO THE BATHROOM TO BRUSH TEETH AND PRIMP TO GET READY. IF YOU'D LIKE WE CAN SEE HER STAND AND HOP OFF TO HER BATHROOM TO GET READY....WE NEXT SEE HIM STANDING AT THE DOOR OF CAESAR'S, OR WHERE EVER. PACING, WRIST WATCH LOOKING. SHE IS LATISH, BUT ONLY FIVE OR SO MINUTES. SOON HE SEES A GIRL APPROACHING. SHE IS ON CRUTCHES. SHE IS RATHER NICELY DRESSED ... SUIT JACKET AND SKIRT. NOT WHAT YOU WOULD EXPECT OF DOLLY. BILL WALKS SWIFTLY TO HER. THE CAMERA FOLLOWS TIGHT OVER HIS SHOULDER.

BILL: Oh, Dolly, thank you so much for coming. I was so afraid fearful you might stand me up. I have a wonderful place picked out for us to have lunch.SHE STARES AT HIM IN A PUZZLED WAY.

HER: I'm sorry. My name isn't Dolly. ... I'm here to meet my Aunt. I don't think we have met.

BILL: (Flustered and confused ) Oh, my goodness. I'm sorry. ... How can this be? I'm to meet a lady here named Dolly. I thought you were her. She has ... that is ...I mistook her for you ... you for her.
THE CAMERA PULLS BACK TO ABOUT WAIST LEVEL OF BOTH BILL AND HER. A FEMININE HAND REACHES INTO THE FRAME AND TAPS BILL ON THE SHOULDER.

DOLLY: Hi ... I'm looking for Big Bill from Chicago ... My name is Dolly.

CAMERA PANS BACK FROM BEHIND THE GROUP TO REVEAL DOLLY, WHO SIZED UP THE SITUATION FOR THE CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY THAT IT IS, AND HAS APPROACHED THE GROUP TO MAKE HERSELF KNOWN. THE THREE REACT IN SURPRISE AND BEGIN TALKING WITH THE SORT OF GOOD FEELING THAT WOULD ACCOMPANY THE COINCIDENCE OF TWO ONE LEG LADIES ARRIVING AT THE SAME TIME AT THE SAME FRONT DOOR. PAN BACK TO SHOW THE THREE TALKING ANIMATEDLY BEHIND THE CREDITS ...

BILL...... HAROLD LEERS.
DOLLY ..... REGINA MORDUE.


HER ....... KOMFORT GOODBODY.
SCREEN PLAY BY DON AXT.
Based on a true life experience as told by Col. Simore
Stubbs.
Don Axt
Box 365
Dunlap, IL 61625
6 August 1992
[Handwritten note on original: "Here is the latest Da Beta Million Axt story. Enjoyed your tape. Hope you find this to be interesting." D.]